I drove home up to Two Pines and A Cone.  Our acre of land slopped and then went up a hill to our barn.  I  drove closer to our 2-story home with our wide expansive red deck.  My husband Nick chose the name, Two Pines and A Cone eighteen years ago,  for the two pines that loomed 50 feet on both ends of the house.

They represent Nick and me.  The cone was our 10-year-old-daughter, Paige.  I always smile so grateful to have property I love and can retire at. I parked my semi-new but nethertheless first sport’s car.  A Jaquar.  I never had so much fun driving.  I gave it a quick look then headed up the steps and into the French doors and yelled out, “Nick!”

Silence.

I dropped my purse onto the tiled hallway entry table and walked into the living room.  Our fabulous view of Mount Thomas from our floor-to-ceiling window was at its best on this sunny day with clear skies.

Nick had been traveling a lot lately.  I usually go with him.  I remembered the first time we entered a complimentary hotel suite during one of his speaking engagements.  The utermost beautiful fruit basket I had ever seen sat on the end of the table.  Overflowing with fresh fruit, expensive cheese, crackers, and gourmet chocolate truffles all wrapped up in a bright blue bow with a “Thank you note”.

There it was…Nick had reached the Top!  The star attraction in our business and my life.

“You made it, Nick.  You made it!”  I hollered, jumping up and down on the bed with my mouth full of grapes and throwing the rest at him.

Of late, he said he was too busy to sightsee (our favorite activity exploring new cities), and it is best that I stay home and make appointments on the phone for his subsequent speaking engagements.

Was that the office line ringing?  I ran down the hall to the study.  I grabbed the landline phone receiver.  Before I could say hello, I heard Nick’s voice say, “Jillie, Jillie.”

“Hey, Nick! Honey, how are you? I say softly as I pull out the office chair and sit down.  “Yeah, yeah, really busy.  I need another week here.”

“OH? “Well, we need to look at the calendar soon as I have booked many appointments for you.    You haven’t called me much, and I miss you.”

For the last couple of decades, the fellow called me more than once a day when we were not working in the office together.

“Jillie, um, yeah, the client is coming today. I could not make it yesterday, so I have got to go.    So, I’ll be back at the end of next week.

Dead Air.

I look at the receiver.   I put it back to my ear.

I looked at my watch and stood up  and out of the chair.

I call back on the landline.  A busy signal?

I hang up.

 

I hurried to get the door open and was immediately stopped.

The Bouncer at the latest new Bistro in town just asked me for my ID.   Me? A 57-year -old woman?  Me?  I put my arms around him. Squeezing him so hard he coughed.

“Your late!”  Cecilia said, as she glared at the Bouncer.

My best friend since Junior High School had that Bouncer turned around and me out of his arms in less then a second.

She glared at the Bouncer and clutched my elbow and up the steps to her table. “What the hell,” she said with a big grin.”

Today, she had invited me to this crowded new restaurant because she had won a contest, and lunch for two was free.  We dined on blacken seabase and indulgd in lemon drop cocktails.

“Ladies, would you like another Cocktail,” our eye-catching young waiter gleamed down at us.

Cecilia made a show of taking the last swig of her 3rd cocktail and leaned back in her seat, screwing up her face.

“Would you run through that dessert menu again?”  The waiter rattled off a list on his menu.  Cecilia listen indently then threw up her hands and said “nah”.

“Cecilia said she wanted to tell him to bring her a shot with a Beer Back.”

“Well Jillie, what do you think?” she said, pulling out a compact from her Givenchy handbag.

Then, Cecilia touchng up her lipstick, she gave me a sideways look.  I hesitated a bit, not quite sure if she meant her new yellow dress or her new yellow hair color.

“By the way, Jillie I am getting annoyed every time we meet for lunch and you keep getting younger.”

Cecilia had aged.  Don’t we all.  She still wore the pixie haircut of her teens and had  few frustrations in her life.  All though money was not one of them.  Cecilia was a Trust Fund baby.

“Your sweet,” I said.  I tugged at the waistline of my blue chiffon sleeveless top. ‘Damn it, ” I said. “I think I spilled.”  Cecilia dipped her cloth napkin in her water glass. “Here, this should help.”

“Thanks, CeCe.” (My nickname for her) We were two nerdy little girls years ago.

I think fond thoughts of our time together at Junior High.

We played records at top volume, trying to get down the new dance moves, and stole her mother’s makeup.

We spent every weekend riding bareback on her family’s horses.  Now I laugh) our in-depth discussions).

Always about if you could have sex with your clothes on?!

Bursting at the seams with food and love, we hugged goodbye in the mall outdoor parking lot.

It’s fun knowing someone for years.  And we had a wonderful day.

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER ONE continued

Zdunowski left my life and I could not be happier.

I was officially never at the end of the line again with my new name: Mrs. Jillie Aldridge.

There were some things I did not like about Nick.  He smoked a lot of pot.  And besides were just teenager’s he will grow out of his unhealthy habits, right?

Plus, I read somewhere this quote, “He can finish a snack pack of pudding without a spoon.”  That pretty much summed it up what I already knew…the sex was great.

Nick today is better looking that that pimply teenage boy.  He is handsome, funny man.

Every evening when we are lying in bed naked, I roll over to rest my heard on his chest.  My favorite part of his naked body is the soft spot high on his upper thigh.

It is like my plush plaything. Caressing it always relaxes me and helps me fall asleep.

I loved the name that Nick chose 18 years ago for our Dream Home. We called it Two Pines and a Cone.

The two pines loom 50 feet on both ends of the house, which stands for him and me.  And the Cone, at that time was our 10-year old daughter.

YIKES!

Oh, crap I just looked at the time.

I am going to be in so much trouble.

I am late.        I am late.      I am late

 

 

Be Gentle  to yourself.    You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here.  And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with your soul.

FOUND IN OLD SAINT PAULS CHURCH BALTIMORE, MD  1692

 

The columns Overdone and Undercooked.com are archived on the website. Author, Shanna Young Eilers.

I have finished my Memoir!     A  memoir with flexibility changed names.

It starts with Chapter One and just for you – One Page Every Day!

 

 

January 1st  2026

 

When I was young, the only goal I had in life was to marry someone whose last name was at the beginning of the alphabet.

It was pure torture having the last name ZDUNOWSKI.  “Zdunowski get in the back of the line!”

Roll call in grade school was like waiting for Christmas.

Roll call in Junior high school was like slamming your finger in a doorway and anxiously waiting for the throbbing to stop.

Roll call in high school?

Well, the day’s I actually went to high school, I stood in the roll call line and watched one after another start to peel away until it was just me and Bobby Yates left as usual.

If only I were not me:  Miss Jillie Zdunowski.

Bobbie and I had gone from grade school to high school together.  We never had a class together.  We never spoke to each other.  We were like two hangtails that the pain worsened when you picked and pulled.

I suppose I should not have just given in and had an indulgent wallow in self-pity, however by the time I got to the rest of class I would miss the early part of lectures.

You get it.  So why bother.

I ended up just skipping class altogether.  That had a lot to do with my bad attitude and worst bad grades.

So, at barely turned nineteen I eloped with my boyfriend since i was sixteen. I did love Nick, but I also loved his last name ALDRIDGE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

The cantaloupe hits the big time during its peak June through October. Believed to be a native of Asia he currently resides in warm and sunny California.  New in our town and only playing for these few weeks of summer, Cantaloupe is currently starring at your local produce department in “Fruit Cup” where he has teamed up with Honeydew and Watermelon.

 

Rich in vitamins A and C and potassium, and containing a fair amount of niacin and iron, he’s America’s answer to a sweet bargain for any dieter.  Half of a 5-inch melon provides the day’s requirement for vitamins A and C and has only 82 calories.  An incredible 825 milligrams of potassium along with low levels of sodium and fat, makes it the perfect treat for those concerned with blood pressure.

 

He’s everywhere you look but unfortunately he is still confined to bit parts such as this Scenario:  For many Americans, the fourth of July means fireworks, parades, picnics and watermelon.

 

I caught up with Mr. Cantaloupe backstage at Safeway’s produce bin.

 

The fact that watermelon is still number one at picnics, does that make you bitter?

 

Who me? I’m not bitter, I’m sweet. Ask Honeydew. Between you and me I’d say she was a little green with jealousy.

 

You and Honeydew were linked romantically for years. Is it all over between you?

 

We will always have our differences. But she is well loved, served plain or fancy.

 

Melon is a vegetable that is eaten as a fruit. Melons belong to the Curcurbitaceae botanical group that is also called the gourd family.

 

Yeah, what is your point?

 

Well, some could say you are quite rotund.

 

Big Deal. Look at Watermelon. He’s HUGE.

 

Well, no offense, but you are very difficult to tell when you are ripe.

 

Puh-leeze. Number one, a ripe cantaloupe has a characteristic sweet and delicate odor. If it’s not fragrant, leave it at room temperature for a few days to ripen. A well-rounded, much better word than rotund I might add, melon should have a depressed smooth scar at the stem end and a slight softness when pressed at the bottom end.

 

You do have a lot of seeds inside of you.

 

Implausible that some people think shaking my seeds around means I am ripe. You estimate a good melon by checking my underbelly.

 

Your underbelly?

 

Of course, that is the part that rested on the ground when I was growing.

A pale, yellow color indicates a ripe, flavorful melon. Green areas may be under ripe.

 

They say you are delicious snack. as well as an appetizer, dessert, or a main meal.

 

All that stuff, yeah. I’m really well rounded in that you can make dinner by scooping chicken salad inside my beautiful orange flesh or top me with ice cream. I have even been known to be peeled, sliced, and tossed with berries.

 

You know a very good treat on a hot summer day is to puree cantaloupe and make it into a sorbet.

 

You think so? I personally think that people are too quick to gobble me as a snack and do not appreciate the fact that I can come to the table as a gourmet meal.

 

How so?

 

Psst, come a little closer and I’ll tell ya. You know that cute little peach over there? She and I have been known to be good together. Peel one peach and cube 1/4 melon, sprinkle with lemon juice.

Place it in blender with 1/2 teaspoon lemon juice, grate an orange rind for a little zest, just a pinch or so, and my favorite part, 1/4 cup white wine.  Puree until smooth.  Add a little sugar to your taste.  Serve cold and you have a melon soup for one.  Use your good china naturally.

 

You may be a bit player, but your character will never go out of style.

 

Nah. I am here for the long run.  Hey, you see rhubarb over there? We were never a good match.  I think it had something to do with the fact she wasn’t well rounded enough.  How about you introduce me to that red heart plum…

Nothing is more exasperating to a Cook then a finicky eater!

You know the one who refuses to taste, try or cooperate, like Mothers-In-law.

It was a big day.  My first dinner for my in-laws.

The menu was perfect – Cornish Game Hens with Apricot stuffing, creamed Peas with Water Chestnuts and a light airy dessert.

Preparation took hours!  I toiled over the creamed peas, basted the hens with just the right amount of butter, and 7,549 hand mixed beats for the light airy dessert.

Exhausted but feeling proud.  We gathered at the table.

“Yum, yum,” grinned Father in-law. “Looks great hon,” quipped husband. 

Wiping the spots off the silverware, mother-in-law just smiled.

We were halfway through with dinner when husband said, “Gee Mom, aren’t you hungry?’

Nibbling On the Game Hen leg (the size of a sardine), she said, ‘I really prefer cold chicken, and have you ever been to “so and so’s oh my was the dinner good there.”

As I was wrapping her leftovers, I decided to start my first family tradition. 

When mother-in-law visits I hide those Creative Cookery books and exchange them for “Cooking with Canned Soup and Fun with Meatloaves.

Do you know what?  Family dinners have been a smash hit ever since!

BEST EVER MEAT LOAF

1 Can (10 1/2 oz.) condensed cream of mushroom or golden mushroom soup.

2 lbs., ground beef 

½ Cup fine dry bread crumbs

1-3 finely chopped onion

1 egg, slightly beaten

1 t salt  

1-3 cup of water

2 to 3 tablespoons drippings

Mix thoroughly ½ cup soup, beef, breadcrumbs, onion, egg and salt. 

Shape firmly into loaf in shallow baking pan. Bake at 375 degrees for one hour and 15 minutes.

FUN FOOD HINTS AND SURPRISES

 

Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

 

Use a meat baster to “squeeze” your pancake batter onto the hot griddle-perfectly-shaped pancakes every time.

 

To prevent eggshells from cracking, add a pinch of salt to the water before hard-boiling.

 

Run your hands under cold water before pressing Rice Krispies treats in the pan. The marshmallows won’t stick to your fingers.

 

Try using plastic bags (that come from the dry cleaners) under your throw rugs to keep them from slipping. It works like a charm.

 

I have just found a wonderful lint remover. Just put on a rubber glove and rub the garment. The lint comes off like a magnet.

 

Use cornstarch to clean fuzzy stuffed animals. Rub the cornstarch on the fuzzy part and let it stand a few minutes and then brush out the cornstarch and the toys are clean once again. Use the cornstarch as it comes right out of the box.

 

To get the most juice out of fresh lemons, bring them to room temperature and roll them under your palm against the kitchen counter before squeezing. Don’t throw away lemon halves after the juice has been extracted. They may be dipped in salt and rubbed on the bottom of your copper-bottomed pots for a few minutes, and they will gleam like new. Then pick up a soap-filled pad and scour the bottom of the pot lightly. This will leave a film on the pot, which will help prevent further accumulation.

 

Lemons also work on a cutting board. After rubbing on your pots, allow to stand for about one hour. Then wash the board under your hot water faucet with some good detergent and put out in the sun to dry. You will find that your cutting board will be bleached to a whiteness as never before.

 

This is a really nifty trick using good ole aluminum foil. Just wad up a piece of foil. After making a ball rub briskly over any rusted spots on your chrome furniture or chrome-plated bumpers. Get ready to take a deep breath of wonder as you watch that rust disappear.

 

Would you like to know a surefire method for keeping cut flowers fresh twice as long? Simply add an aspirin to the water in your vase.

 

To apply nail polish more easily, simply grasp an empty coffee cup with the hand to be painted. This makes it so much easier to steady your hands.

 

Husband used up all the rags. Got a messy project and don’t want to ruin your clothes? For shoulder-to-knees protection when painting or doing messy chores, cut a T-slit at the bottom of a plastic trash bag, cut holes at the sides under the fold, slip arms and head through the slits.

 

Here’s the fastest way to remove the core from the head of iceberg lettuce; bang the head, core side down, on to a hard surface such as your kitchen counter and the core should pop right out.

 

To remove pesky onion and garlic smells from your wood cutting boards, scrub the surface with a paste of baking soda and water.

 

Try saving the water from boiled peeled potatoes to use in your next bread mix. It adds the perfect flavor to bread loaves.

 

Neighborhood dogs won’t stay out of your garbage cans. This remedy works every time-pour a dash of household ammonia into garbage bags before closing them. The scent will deter those critters.

 

When forming meatballs with all of the gooey stuff included, put a few drops of vinegar on your hands every so often and the ingredients will not stick to your hands.

 

A teaspoon of salad oil prevents rice from sticking together and keeps water from boiling over. And speaking of boiling over, never put a lid on a pot that contains milk, you are guaranteed a mess.

 

When cutting hard-boiled eggs into dip your knife in boiling hot water first. This makes the most beautiful slice you have ever seen.

 

Have you ever wondered how restaurants make those cute garnishes? For a fancy carrot curl cut thin lengthwise strips of carrot with a vegetable peeler. Roll around your finger and fasten with toothpick. Chill in ice water. Remove picks before using.

 

To determine whether an egg is fresh, immerse it in a pan of cool, salted water. If it sinks, it is fresh- if it rises to the surface throw it away.

 

Spray your Tupperware with nonstick cooking spray before pouring in tomato-based sauces- no more stains.

 

If you accidentally over-salt a dish while its still cooking, drop in a peeled potato-it absorbs the excess salt for an instant “fix me up.”

 

If you’re a homemade cook and like to fix and freeze, remember these helpful hints. Cooked foods should be cooled before being put into freezer.

 

Keep food packages as thin and flat as practically, food will freeze and thaw more quickly. And if you run out of freezer containers for your homemade soup, let the soup cool and put it into freezer bags. They will freeze flat, and you can re-heat in the bag. Remember do that if you use freezer bags, the frozen mixture may not be as deep as a frozen block of food from a container. Therefore, the reheating time may be shorter.

 

Do you have any crazy recipes that your friends and family are amazed by the ingredients? You know like “Brown paper bag apple pie” or 7-UP cake.

I would love to feature your favorites next month.

 

 

Teens lives filled with adventures.

Teen Talk with Braiden Eilers

 

Parlez -vous francais?  Well, Inglemoor senior Josh Taylor certainly does.  He spent a year in an exchange program in Meise, Belgium, north of Brussels.

“Taking chances and seeing new things, “is why Josh wanted to do the exchange program.

Also, it was a different opportunity where he got to experience a new culture and speak a new language.

Josh had three years of French before going on his adventure.  He said the language was very, very hard to understand, and that made his classes very difficult as well.

He stayed in Belgium from August to July.  It wasn’t until Christmas that he became good at the French language.

What was his best memory from Belgium?  “The first night I dreamt in French, that was really cool, he said.

He just woke up one day and everything clicked.  And that day he went to school and could actually communicate and understand everything.

He didn’t get very homesick because he prepared himself for what he was going into—11 – 12 months without seeing family or friends.

He did miss his family, especially on holidays and on his birthday, but he kept a great attitude and wasn’t negative about it.

“The people there were very willing to talk to someone else,” Josh said.

‘You say hello and good-bye to everyone with a kiss on the cheek.   So, it gave you personal contact with them. It made it easier to be open with them after getting to know them.”

I think Josh puts his whole trip into perspective for us when he says “I wouldn’t trade anything in the world for this experience.”

If you want to learn more about doing an exchange program, you can contact AFS, American Field Service, the organization that Josh went through, or just talk to your language teacher.  I’m sure they have all the information that you need!

Note: Teen Talk was my daughter Braiden.

 

She was in High School, and I had a column, Overdone and Undercooked.

 

Today Braiden is an Emergency Doctor.

Teens Lives Filled with Adventures

Teen Talk with Braiden Eilers

 

Alison Edwards seems to be a pretty normal senior at Inglemoor High School.

But how many seniors can say they have been to boot camp.

This 17 -year-old went to Army Reserve Basic Training in South Carolina for nine weeks this last summer. I talked to her to see what her experience was really like.

‘It was something that other people haven’t done, it was an adventure,” Edwards said.  “And …you get something to fall back on when you enter the adult world.  It also doesn’t hurt that you get paid to do it!”

Her typical day was getting up at about 4:45 a.m. sometimes 4:30 to do drill, followed by an hour of running, sit-ups, and pushups.  Next was breakfast, and then an all-day trip, which was basically marching with weapons and ruck-sacks.

You have lunch outside, standing up, and it was not very appetizing.

It could be hot dogs, or chicken soup, and it would all taste the same,” she said.”  After going home, you shower then do more exercises/training review the day, and the go to bed at about 9:30 to 1O:30pm.

Her best memory of boot camp was coming home.  She grew up during this experience, and she earned respect and how to give it.  One the downside, Alison’s worst experience was having to go through the gas chamber.

In the gas chamber you learn what it is like to be the enemy. “All your pores just open up, your skin burns, it’s hard to breathe, and your nose runs, “she explained with a shudder.

When asked if she would go through it again, se said she would, but if it was a choice, definitely not.

Basic training made a big impact on her life as you can see.  It also gave her stability for civilian jobs, and she got to earn all about computers while she was there.

She still trains once a month – on the first weekend of each month at Fort Lewis.  Also, twice a year she and the other reserves are tested on how fast they can run two miles, and how many sit-ups and push ups-they can do.

Are you someone who is interested in the adventure Alison took?

If you are 18 and up , go and sign up! If you are 17, you have to get a guardian’s consent.  Then in the summer, between your junior and senior years, you go train like Alison did.  Then next summer you go to advanced individual training for 12 weeks in the south.

Are you up to it!

 

Note: Teen Talk was my daughter Braiden.  She was in High School, and I had a column, Overdone and Undercooked.

 

Today Braiden is an Emergency Doctor.