"Overdone and Undercooked" Newspaper Columns©

All the venues for Banquet serving were exciting and different location’s.  Places I had never heard of or been to.  Particularly excited about tonight’s event: an extraordinary, Downtown building, that occupied an entire City block.  There were concerts, special events, 2500 seat performance venue, that had catering and a full bar.  I had never been there and knew that it was beautiful.  It’s lobby area alone, that had sky-high windows, and chandeliers that line the stairs.

It was magnificent enough that the hall’s lobby features an enormous contribution of Glass Art.  Such as one given the title Crystal Cascade by world-renowned artist Dale Chihuly.  This shift was as a Chef.  Not Banquet server.  And that was three more dollars for a 7-hour shift.  YAHOO. However, I then realized the shift would be in the kitchen.  No serving.  The best part of serving is to see the people and the venue.  Darn it.

Always lousy at directions and no GPS directions and unfamiliar with a big city, I found parking the truck was close to impossible.  It didn’t help that I was already late..  It seemed like every parking lot had a FULL sign.  I was starting to panic.  Then, finally! An opening that said, ”The Garage Door would close at 1 am

Out of all the jobs, the one I think I hated the most, was the pity job my neighbor, Trish gave me.  No.  It wasn’t mowing her lawn.  It was worse.  It was babysitting PEANUT.   OMG.  Peanut was a mean old cat.  That lived in a 4-tier Condo.  Trish lives alone, on acreage, right behind my house.  She was the lady who wanted to give Tom and Brad snacks when the Sheriff was baby sitting my Barn.

Today, Trish came over.  Always so glad to see her.  She told me, that she will bring over the Condo.   I enjoy Trish.  Her company meant a lot to me.  She would take me to lunch and listen to my tears and fears.  She was very kind and generous to me.  And I don’t know if she will ever know how much her kindness meant to me.  She was coming over to bring the Condo.  She and I worked half the day trying to put it together.  But bless her heart.  She was giving me $500 for a week.  That she knew I desperately needed.

For me, I was spending time talking to Peanut.  All about my troubles.  Peanut would usually hide on the bottom floor covered in a blankie rug.  Luckily,  look’s can’t kill, but she/he? continued with that strange, I don’t like you glare.  I so respect that. NOT.  Anyhoo, Peanut did come to stay with me three times!!! Trish must have known, I had no gas and was still on food stamps, each time.

The fateful day I lost Peanut  and Trish never brought her back, was just like every other day.

I let Peanut out a little bit.  But she would scurry back inside her Condo.  For some insane reason. That particular day Peanut walked around my ankle.  Now, this means something right?  Were, we finally communing with each other?  Soooo, I was leaving the house. And it was time to put Peanut back in her Condo. So, for the first time.  I picked Peanut up!!!!!!!

Peanut roared like a fricking LION, twisted my arm and landed those teeth  into my wrist.  The puncture wound was bleeding profusely.  I was amazed as I thought we had reached a new place of togetherness.

Trish never came back with Peanut.

 

Butch had sat down looking exhausted.  He started to cough and excused himself as he pops a throat logenze.  He starts his spiel.  And in the meantime, the house (granted it is cold outside)feels like Southesat Asia.  Sticky and hot. Butch starts sweating and is not taking off his black leather motorcyle jacket.  I see a trickle of sweat go down his forehead.  I am almost sure if he gets up too quick and makes a turn that hairpiece is going to slide off onto the kitchen floor.

The elderly couple, both with bulky sweaters, on said , ”That unfortunately, they could not make a decision without their son.  Who was supposed to come to the meeting but cancel at the last minute.”  Butch’s face got beet red.  And then he started coughing.  He coughed so hard, I thought his retina was going to become, detached.  With a deep breath, he stood up and promptly started breaking down the stand which seemed to be stuck.

And instead of asking for a re-schedule another time, or even being polite, he headed to the door, with the stand partially closed, while I was still sitting at the kitchen table.  He mumbled all the way back in his clean Lincoln, which he seemed to have a lot of pride about his car and that he called Suzy.  Ok, I did not ask why. ”Jillie,” he snapped.  ”The importance of my leads is that they are confirmed.  Have you memorized the script?”  ”Yes,” I could feel my upper lip twitching.  Thank God we just pulled into the parking lot.

”Sorry about today Butch.  But I have to go.  See you next Saturday.”  I jumped out of the car before he had even turn the engine off.  I knew he was going to grill me , and my patience, had ended.  I could not wait to get out of ‘Suzy’ and go home.  Got in my old beat up, damn red truck, that I hate, and shifted gears so quick, it squealed out of McDonald’s parking lot.  The tears started flowing:

Who am I.  Why am I here?

Would you believe it!!  I actually met with Butch for about 20 more Saturdays.  He always paid in cash.  He got a good deal of sales.  If he missed an appointmnet, he would pay me an extra $50 bucks.  Then one week he called me up and said, ”I had not got enough leads and he had to let me go.”

He started coughing. So I just hung up.

That night I made my first call.  I remember him saying, I had to close on them on the first call, or else they would lose interest if you tried to do a follow-up.  Bam! Or, just pure luck!  My first call, got my first appointment.  And it was for Tomorrow!!  I was so excited, I called Butch at once.  He was genuinely excited, too.  After his coughing stopped.    He said meet me tomorrow, at McDonald’s, since they are right in that neighborhood.

”I want you to see the presentation.”  Butch was there in the parking lot in the same clothes as yesterday.  And all his jewelry.  Though I think the rug on top of his head was in a different direction.

I tried to park my beat up old red truck further away and walked over.  He shook my hand and went straight to the back of the Lincoln and opened the trunk.  ”What you got there Butch,” I said.  ”Well hold this please,” he hands me a long narrow heavy box. ” That is the stand that I will set up.  You can put it back down into the trunk.  We will pull it out right before we get to the house.  Then this box, I want you to take, as it is the folders and application, etc.”

Minutes later we arrive at an older looking rambler that sat in a cul-de-sac.  We knocked on the door, and an elderly gentleman, opened the door.  ”You are right on time,” he grinned.  Butch had barely said, ”Hello and immediately asked where the kitchen table was”.  I try to engage the elderly couple in a conversation.  I made remarks about what a lovely home.  I inquired about a painting on the wall.

When Butch burst in and wanted us all around the kitchen table.  Upon entering, there stood  (I swear. A 7 ft tall trade show display of a giant Walk-IN-Tub.)

 

 

As I listened, he explained my job was to call his list of leads, and make an appointment for him to visit the Client at their home.  That Walk-In-Tubs an excellent investment, for people who cannot shower, due to stability issues or cannot pull themselves, out of a traditional, Tub easily.

He turned the pages of the large brochure with one hand resting on the table and the other hand heavy with big chunky rings on all of his fingers including his thumb.  Pointing to a page, he turned a deadpan face to me.  ”Jillie. Right?”  My head perked up. ”Yes, Blake.” I said with a friendly look on my face.  While his black thick eyebrows shot up and out like an inverted V.  ”The name is Butch.  Not Blake.”

”Oh, my goodness.  I am so sorry, Blake, uh I mean Butch, please forgive.” ”Fine.  Are you following me, Jillie?”  ”Yes, I am,”  I said, nodding my head.  As he continued, I take a gander and guess, he is probally in his late 50’s.  His wristwatch is the size of my kneecap.  His face pinched reminds me of a dehydrated apple.

Butch clears his throat again.  ”I will pay you $10 an hour.  You will need to call a maximum of 4 hours, 3 days a week.  But one day has to be Sunday.  Best time to dial is early morning or after 7p.m.  If you get a lead, I will give you an extra $2.00 for that call.  And If I sell the Tub, I will give you $100.00, and I will pay you in cash, every Saturday.”

As soon as I heard ”Paid every Saturday” I was in.  ”Great, here is my list says, Butch.  Call away.  Let me know how it goes!”  Butch handed me his script, leads, and a brochure and stood up.  I was surprised at how large he was.  I noticed that his died mustache, matched the rug on his head, and a heavy gold chain lay acoss his neck.

”Jillie”, funny name,” he said and tugged at the pockets of his heavy motorcycle, black leather jacket, and pulled out a set of keys.  His black pants, black shoes, and black hair walked out the door and right to the Lincoln.

There it was in Craig’s list.  The AD simply read:  Telemarketer to call leads for Walk-in-Bathtubs.  PAID WEEKLY.  Oh yeah, baby that was precisely, what I needed.  I could not count on a 7 day a week Banquet serving.  I had to supplement my income.  I immediately got on the phone.

Since my voice was my only asset.  I was prepared to let him know that I was more than eager to ‘Dial for Dollars.’  The guy on the phone sounded like he was talking thru a handful of dirt and coughed every other sentence.  And I think he said, his name was Blake.  But after our 5-minute conversation we set up a time and date to meet at the local McDonalds.

He wanted to meet at the end of the week, but desperate once again, I got him to meet me tomorrow.  He said, I would know who he was, because he would have brochures on Walk-In-Tubs on the table.  The next day, I pulled up to the McDonalds, about 10 minutes early.  I had on the same old black pants and a old red suit jacket.  I hoped, he would not notice my black, culinary shoes.

I noticed an old cream color Lincoln Continental.  The old ones, that have the boxy front and a big grill.  And are as long as 3 small, Toyota cars, line up.  I chuckled, and thought you could fit a Walk-in-Bathtub in that thing.  I came through the front door, and surprised to see Blake was already there, and seated.

He was easy to find, as he was the only one at the table, with a notebook with a BIG picture of a Walk-In-Tub.  He also had a jet black Hairpiece that I couldn’t tell if it was on sideways or backwards.  I gave him a nod. As he was looking right at me.  I walked towards him, said Hello, and introduced myself and sat across the both from him.  He had no coffee and didn’t ask me if I wanted one.

He just started talking.

 

Dear Customer,

As your mortgage loan servicer wants to help you stay in your home.  We want you to know there is a program available that may help you.  If you qualify under the federal goverment’s Home Affordable Modification Program (HAMP) and comply with the terms of the Home Affordable Modification Program Trial Period Plan.  We will modify your mortgage loan and you can avoid foreclosure.

How can you find out if you qualify?  Just follow the steps below and let us know that you need help.  TODAY!  Step 1:  GATHER THE INFO WE NEED TO HELP YOU Detailed instructions on what you need to do to take advantage of this program are set forth on the enclosed document entitled ”Complete Your Checklist.”  Generally, you will need to:

Explain the financial hardship that makes it difficult for you to pay your Mortgage Loan using the MHA request for Modification and Affidavit (RMA)  and addendum.  Submit the required documentation of your income.  Make timely monthly trial-period payments.  If you meet the eligibility criteria, you will be offered a Trial Period Plan.  The monthly trial period payments will be based on the income documentation that you provide.  They will be an estimate of what your payment will be if we are able to modify your loan under the terms of the program.

If you do not qualify for a loan modification, we will work with you to explore other foreclosure alternative options.

STEP 2:  COMPLETE AND SUBMIT

Please complete the enclosed forms and submit all the required income documentation.  Now is the time to act.  We are ready to help you.  Please take the steps outlined on the enclosed document ”Complete your Checklist.” If you have any questions, please contact us.

Brick Bank is a debt collector.  Brick Bank is attempting to collect a debt and any information obtained will be used for that purpose.  However, if you are in bankruptcy or received a bankruptcy discharge of this debt, this communication is not an attempt to collect the debt agains you personally, but is notice of a possible enforecement of the lien against the collateral property.

The Making Home Affordable program was created to help millions of homeowners refinance or modify their mortgages,  As part of this program.  Fannie Mae  ( the owner of your loan )  your servicer, and the Federal Goverment are working to offer you option to help you stay in your home.

Complete your Checklist, Next steps, Important Program Info.  Frequently Asked Questions, MHA Affidavit and addendum, Important Notice, and IRS Form4506-T

 

One day, Pat asked me to sit down in the chair, in front of his desk.  He came around from his office, rubbed my shoulders, saying, I looked so tense.  He then sat down on the leather chair next to mine.

He gave me a long look.  Relaxed back in his chair.  And smiled as if he had a secret.  ”Jillie,” he said, as he leaned forward, and put his hand on my knee. ”I am taking a short weekend trip.”  And then, he asked if I would accompany him on this trip.  ”A work trip.” I said.  ”No.  Just to get to know you better.  Is anything wrong.” He asked, looking perturbed as he leaned closer, with his hand still on my knee.

I got goosebumps and not the right kind. ”No. Um I’m fine.  A short weekend trip.” I repeated with a plastered smile on my face.  Pat, gave me a broad smile that showed his crooked front teeth.  He leaned back in his chair, examined his nails.  I didn’t want to blurt out that I worked as a Banquet Server on the weekends.  I meet Patrick’s eyes, and as politely and honestly, as I could say, ”Um, Thank you, no.  I would’nt be able to come this weekend.”

”Why not?” he interrupted.  ”I have family obligations,” I say a little too quickly.  Where did I find the courage, when all I had was insecurities? As I finished speaking, his dismissive eyes, run over me from top to bottom.  And he stood up. ”My, My,” he drawled.  ”Well, I guessed as much!  It is best you get back to work.”

With wobbly legs, I opened the office door, walked out, closing it behind me.  I had been with the company for 11 days.  The next day, I was let go.  As soon as I walked in the front door, my Manager, David, asked me to come into his office, before I go to my desk.

”My Boss,” he explained.  ”Told me that they had decided to go a different direction, and would not need, my services.” Oh, no.   Oh, no  Oh, no  Oh no, SHIT….I stared at him in bewilderment.  Being you can quit anytime as a State employer or employee.  I had no leg to stand on.

David walked me out the front door of the building.  I would never be in again.  For the last 11 days, I had parked away from the building, to another parking lot.  Too, embarrassed to have anyone, see my beat up old red truck.  I walked with my head high. Until, I opened the truck door and collapsed into a burts of tears.  I needed this job so badly. $20.00 an hour would have save me.

What’s happened to me?  I didn’t think I could feel anymore devastated when my long marriage had collapsed.

What am I going to do?

 

I could not believe my good luck.  I had a chance to interview for a job during the recession.  Part -Time Inside Sales Manager that paid a whopping $20.00 an hour.  OMG, all my troubles would be over.  I had written a resume that emphasized our business and my phone skills.  It was a 32 hour a week inside sales job. That still allowed me to work evenings, Banquet serving!  Finding work during this recession was difficult.  And they wanted me!  I was more than giddy that they liked me.  I couldn’t stop doing the Happy Dance.

I showed up every day.  Promptly 10 minutes early, and left 15 minutes after closing.  My new boss, David, explained how I would be taught the vocabulary of them dialing for dollars.  I worked hard to listen, and took over abundant of notes.  It would appear that all was going well.  Not a bad commute and people were great…..all except for One.  The CEO and Senior partner of the company , Patrick Newsom.  He had been there for years and years.  He had the posture of someone who sits all day and eats all night. With a round tummy and peek-a-boo gray chest hair, that would come right through, his shirt buttons.

Even though I knew, I mean, I have been flirted with.   So, it took precisely the one-minute introduction to all of my co-workers when Patrick’s eye’s got big and said.  ”What is it we have here.”  He introduced himself as Patrick.  ”But you honey. You can call me Pat.”  He winked and gave me the two hands shake.  I wasn’t that innocent to know that he found me attractive.  Every time I walked the hallway, he would holler at me through his open office door to come on in. As he waved wildly.  He always asked me to close his door.  And sit down in one of the two black leather high-back chairs in front of his high-end executive office desk.

I was flattered that one of the top executives in the company had taken an interest in helping me with my new career.  I would sit with Pat for it seemed like hours. But more like half-hour. As he explained information about the company, and this and his role, and where they wanted to go in the future.  Pat would say, that I was someone he just wanted to get to know better.  So many great opportunities awaited me.

Enthusiastically, I would nod in agreement.  Truly excited to be part of such a great company.  More than once, my boss, David would come to my desk to ask where I had been.

Last weekend, I worked at a Beautiful Hotel. That sat very close to the Lake.  It was a gorgeous afternoon and went into early evening banquet serving.  It was held outside in a huge outdoor pavilion.  The theme was JAMES BOND!! Orchestrated  an event that displayed a collection of beautiful, old and new sports cars, that drove right up to the bandstand.

As Banquet servers we were dressed in our bowties and all-black shirt and black pants and black shoes.  We looked great! However, the twenty people we served, half men and half women, were dressed to the Nines!!  And at the end of the hotel’s driveway they had set it up as a kitchen.  The Chef at the hotel would come to our station with Cavier and Cream Fraiche, Tartlets, Edible Spoons filled with meat and cheeses.  And on and on and on beautiful masterful Hors D’oeuvre.  That followed with bottle after bottle of Champagne that we carried on trays, and the quest would take a glass or Hors D’oeuvre.

That evening was warm for early September.  All of our servers, including the quests, were enjoying so much, the music, the cars, the view of the water and the smell of so many great Hors D’oeuvres.  I would head back with an empty tray.  And one of the guy servers would grab my hand twirl me around, and we would dance just like the people in the tent were dancing.  We danced all night with our empty trays and tried to sneak bites of the fancy Hors D’oeuvre.

There wasn’t one moment in the hours spent I thought of nothing but having fun, eating, and dancing, and then at the end one of my fellow banquet servers, Tim, threw a dishrag at me and said, ”Were the lucky ones.  We got clean up.” We both did thumb downs.  Party was over for us.  I was washing the dishes, and he was drying and stacking them up for the Chef inside the hotel to pick up.  The Chef had just walked by, wanting to know what was taking so long.”

”All right, all right,” said Tim cursing under his breath.  Tim had been telling me that he couldn’t drive without a special ignition interlock device to be installed in the vehicles of convicted Drunk Drivers.  Sadness washed over me.  Tim was just a kid.  ”The devices would lock up if the driver tries to go anywhere while intoxicated,”Tim said.  ”They make me blow into a mouthpiece before I can start the car.”  Tim said bitterly. Electronic monitoring, they call it.”   ”Oh shit, Tim.  I’m sorry.”  ”Oh no, my life sucks right now.  I got my girlfriend pregnant.  At least she says it is me.”

The Chef came picked up the kitchen dishes.  Finally, the party was over and Hotel quiet, as the night was late, and I could tell Tim wanted to talk.  Tonight was the first time we had worked together, so we sat on the curb outside the Hotel, waiting for his ride.

It wasn’t long before and older car with scratches and dings drove up to the curb.  The woman inside looked like it might be his Mother.  We both got up off the curb.  Tim shrugged and smiles at me.  I nodded. I smiled. Tim gave me a nod and got in the car.

From an exciting day to a reality for Tim.